Be Your Own Best Friend

The publishing industry can especially be brutal for us creative types. We are emotionally invested in our work, but the industry necessarily is all about profits. It’s easy to become self-defeated, self-critical, and self-doubting.

I saw a therapist last year to work through some job-related stress (my day job, not my writing), and as I was grieving the loss of a friendship I felt I’d invested a great deal of love and energy into, she listened and then said, “What if you invested all that love and energy into yourself?”

That question kept coming back to me, particularly in relation to my writing. In my everyday life, I do tend to take care of myself. But when it comes to my writing career? Not so much. After that conversation, I started making a more conscious effort to say to myself positive statements about writing rather than negative ones. Self-affirming statements instead of self-doubting ones.

No one cares about your writing the way you do, so why not be your own best advisor about all matters concerned with it? Give yourself the advice you would give to someone you love and admire. When you catch yourself having negative thoughts, pause and ask yourself if that’s something you’d say to your best friend.


  1. Simply put, no one can toot your horn other than yourself.

    Writing is a lonesome job. Sure, you can have friends who admire you and like your work, but they won’t be there all the time –if at all– to offer advice on a profession they don’t understand. That’s why it’s important to have confidence in your writing, at least enough to know you’re doing what you love.

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